Giving Your Best in Your Marriage or Dating Relationship

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Written By JohnBarnes

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I enjoy writing about ‘Relationships’ as it is one of my favourite subjects. Honestly, today relationships have turned out to be similar to the ‘changing of clothes’ every day. People love to change their partners every now and then. The gist of all is: ‘the changing times’. We as human beings have conformed to the practices of the world, and we swing by as the world does. However, if you aren’t able to foster or nurture one relationship, then you aren’t going to nurture the other. Though, there is one exception in my view to what I just stated; it is not to target those relationships that are abusive, where the victim male or female is physically or mentally abused. We get to live life once, and it does not mean that we succumb to any relationship that is torturous in nature.

After conducting a brief research study on the subject, it is realized that different authors have made varying observations regarding this subject. Each author expresses his/her own view as they perceive and define ‘relationship’.

Turn ‘on’ your Positive Psychology in Relationships

Author Carr in ‘Positive Psychology: The Science of Happiness and Human Strengths’ stated that positive psychology is related to the positive emotions and affection in one’s relationship. When both the partners work through their conflicts, and sort them out by communicating respectfully and forgiving each other’s mistakes; then they tend to gain high levels of satisfaction in their relationship. This being one aspect, the other is the endurance and perseverance to work at your relationship. If you love and care about your partner then it is obvious that you will work towards sharing a positive relationship.

Stop seeking Perfection in your partner

The realization is important that we are human beings, and none of us is perfect. Therefore, we cannot expect perfection in our partner. There will be certain behaviours that may irritate, or there might be some weaknesses that are too hard to accept, but the bottom-line is you have to deal with those behaviours in a positive way without humiliating or demeaning your partner. Rather than reacting impulsively to those behaviours, you can wait for the right time to talk with your partner about certain behaviours that seem annoying. The confrontational talk needs to be non-judgmental, so that your partner is a good recipient to your concerns.

Overcome the Temptation

As we live in a new era it has become easy to switch partners or move on without giving a thought to your relationship. The biggest temptation nowadays seems to be ‘gap-fillers’. Gap-fillers are those ‘so-called friends’ who make an entry in your life at just the wrong time. When you face challenging times in your marriage or dating relationship, then it is normal that you have a friend who acts as your partner replacement. He/She is filled with all the good talks, assurances and may even want you to think that life is worth living, so why live with a partner you aren’t happy with?

However, if you think really deep, it can be analyzed or assessed that if you cannot live or put up with one partner, then there is no guarantee that you are able to put up with a new partner. The beginning days of a new and rosy relationship may seem to be the best, but you never know when the same relationship may turn to your worst.

The best advice when your marriage or relationship isn’t working is to wait patiently and to give yourself and partner the time to figure out whether it is truly over, and for genuine reasons so that you don’t get a chance to regret in life for missing out on the best.