Before you get into a serious dating relationship, you need to ask the following questions regarding dreams, desires, and goals. Someone who is only concerned with their own dreams, desires, and goals is likely, at worst, to become dangerous if anyone interferes with them. On the other end of the spectrum, someone with no dreams, desires, and goals may become agitated with someone who has some and is working toward them.
Ideally, you both have dreams, desires, and goals. Separately and together. You both strive toward them and encourage the other to do the same. You bring out the best in each other and not the worst. So, this is a real indication of potential abuse if everything always has to be only about “me” and if someone has as much ambition as a mowed down blade of grass.
Bill Kerley sums it up really swell in this joke: Question: “What is the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence?” Answer: “I don’t know, and I don’t care one way or the other.” You do want to know and you do care one way or the other. And there is safety in dating someone else who does likewise.
1. Where do you want to live?
2. What kind of things do you expect to do on vacations in the future?
3. How do you nurture your dreams?
4. What are your dreams and goals and desires?
5. What are your dreams for us together?
6. How can we nurture those dreams together?
7. How can I encourage you to do the activities you love doing?
8. What is your dream?
9. Are you doing anything to reach your dream?
10. Are you a disciplined person?
11. Would your family and close friends agree with the answer you gave to the last question?
12. Describe your ideal wedding.
13. What is your dream honeymoon?
14. How long should a honeymoon last?
15. What career or careers do you wish to pursue?
16. What are your educational goals?
17. Are you one of those kind of people who is always learning or do you just want to learn enough to get by and then stop learning?
18. Does it matter to you what my educational and career goals are?
This article copyright 2008 by Linda Culbreth. You may freely reprint this article as long as you use exactly like it is with no changes, additions, or omissions, including the resource box.